


where do we begin (now that you’re back from the dead)

by CyrusBreeze



Series: Fifteen Fics I’ll Never Fucking Finish [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not completed, can be read as a one shot though, not beta’d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: After following his best friend in a fight that wasn’t his, Sam Wilson comes incredibly close to losing the love of his life. But forgiveness gives him a second chance, and Sam is determined to make things right, even if that means putting his life in danger.





	where do we begin (now that you’re back from the dead)

**Author's Note:**

> Sure, this could be read as a one shot. But it was originally part of what was supposed to be a larger story of how Sam risked everything to visit Rhodey. 
> 
> Anyway, this is by as shit and slightly painful. Welcome to angsty hell.

The hat and sunglasses offer him little disguise, but Tony promised him an hour of looping the cameras before the nurses came in or security realized something was wrong.

Sam quietly enters the room. Rhodey is sleeping, after all, it's the middle of the night, and Sam is thankful for the quiet so that he has a moment to calm himself down. 

It's takes him a moment to finally bring himself to look at Rhodey's face. His partner looks so peaceful, but Rhodey's always looked like that in his sleep, quiet and calm and perfectly relaxed. 

Sam lets out a long, slow breath, and then he walks towards his partner. His hands finds Rhodey's and he holds in gently, thumb tracing the lines of Rhodey's hand, memorizing every lime and pattern and crevice, just in case Rhodey wakes up and never wants to see him again.

Rhodey's eyes slowly open, and he turns his face to look towards Sam. Sam holds his breath. 

"Tony let me in," Sam says, almost defensively. "He said that you were having a hard time." 

There's a look of shock on Rhodey's face and Sam waits, just waits for Rhodey to tell him to leave, for Rhodey to call for security, and for Sam to lose his friend, partner, and love of his life. 

Rhodey doesn't tell him to leave. Instead, Rhodey says, "I had been doing pretty well with physical therapy, and all that stuff, and then, I just suddenly relapsed. It's been... rough." 

Sam strokes his partner's hand. Rhodey shifts his hand until his and Sam's are intertwined. 

"Thank you," Rhodey says. "I know you're risking a lot. Thank you for coming." 

"It was my fault," Sam says. "I shouldn't have-" 

Rhodey cuts him off. "You would've fallen without the benefit of a suit of armor," he says. "You could've died. Don't every apologize for staying alive."

"You could've died," Sam says. "Watching you fall was like watching Riley all over again." 

"We who have seen war never stop seeing it," Rhodey says. 

"That was," Sam searches for the right word. "Poetic."

"The head nurse here was a philosophy major," Rhodey says as an explanation. "She's always got an interesting quote." 

Sam offers a small smile. "Is she cute?" He asks. 

Rhodey laughs. "She's pretty, but no where near as beautiful as you."

Sam smiles widen slightly, and he leans down to kiss Rhodey. Rhodey returns the kiss and Sam feels himself slowly begin to melt into his partner. He wishes that he could do this forever, but he knows that he can't. 

"I love you," Sam says as he pulls away. "God, I love you, and I'm so sorry." 

"I love you too," Rhodey says. 

They're quiet for a long moment. Sam goes back to absentmindedly tracing the lines on Rhodey's hand. 

For a moment, Sam believes that Rhodey's fallen asleep again, but then Rhodey says. "You know, Tony's hellbent on "War Machining" my wheelchair. He's got all these ideas to make it hover, and have repulsers, and turn into armor, and he's not taking no for an answer."

Sam chuckles, quietly at first

"I mean, I had to negotiate him now from the firework blaster," Rhodey laughs. 

Sam's laugh blooms a bit more. 

"He's says it's perfectly festive for the Fourth of July, and I just can't," Rhodey says. 

Sam's belly laughing now, and he doesn't realize that he's crying, really, genuinely crying until he sees the tears fall on Rhodey's blanket. 

The two slowly sober, and then they're quiet again. 

"I love you," Sam repeats. "I love you. I can't tell you where I'm going, but I will contact you as soon as I can." Sam presses another slow, long kiss onto Rhodey's mouth. 

"I love you," Rhodey responds. "And I want you to be safe. Please stay safe."

"I will," Sam says. 

They stay there, silent and unmoving for a long moment, until Rhodey's breath evens out, his chest rising and falling methodically, and Sam knows that Rhodey is asleep. 

Sam pauses, slowly relinquishes his grip o his partner's hand, and with the feeling of pure heartbreak and hurt, he leaves his partners room.

**Author's Note:**

> Loved it? Hated it? Want to release me from the prison of existence? No? Okay


End file.
